Dad's Gone

Got a phone call on the landline at about 5 am.  I knew it had to be not-good news.  But I didn't expect to hear what Vicky said next:  "Dad's gone."...  Her voice was so flat.  I couldn't believe she'd be saying-- she meant-- "Dad has departed from this life."  Because she wouldn't have been so calm.  But she'd been trying to reach me for at least an hour.  So, she was tired.  And numb....

I was shocked.  I am shocked.  How could this happen?  I'd survived such an ordinary, busy day....  I fell asleep on the couch....  I woke up because Nala started barking-- at nothing.  No noise, nobody around.  I remember the thought crossing my mind:  Something's wrong with Dad.  And then I scrubbed it out-- silly, superstitious thinking.  How could anything be wrong?  Dad was going to the VA; if something was wrong, they'd make him better.  They'd keep him and fix him, so that he could come home and be with us for Thanksgiving.... 

That's why I just felt like I couldn't breathe when I heard Vicky.  It couldn't be....  I asked Dad during our Wednesday Skype:  "Do you want to come home Dad?"  "Of course I do."  When he told me that, his voice sounded so... tired.  I remembering thinking, "Des he mean 'home,' like with God?  In Heaven?"