3:33pm (Philippines)
I don’t even know how I got the courage to pick up a pen and write.  Jac told me – try and journal, I know that’s going to be hard, but to release your thoughts.  Dad passed away on October 22in the Philippines, and my biggest nightmare is being lived out right now.  His “woman” is disputing my sister and me on bringing his body home, which are his written wishes.  I feel so low right now.  I’m in a country where I don’t know the law.  My Uncle – Dad’s brother – is a bust!  I don’t get him.  He is my Dad’s full-blooded brother.  We have never asked for anything from him, never; but we’ve asked him to help us honor Dad’s wishes, but all he is doing is making a Mickey Mouse show out of this. 

And then my sadness turns into anger; raging anger - where I actually wish ill on this woman.  Her true colors have prevailed.  She yelled at my sister, and said she was going to throw her out of the funeral home.  And what did my Uncle do?  Nothing!  Kar is right, this is in Gods hands.  And I believe God won’t let us leave here without his body. 

Mom, I know you are looking down on me – and giving me your strength and courage.  Dad, I know you want to come home.  And I want to make sure it happens.  Lord, I pray – I ask that you come into my heart and give me the courage and strength to get through this.  I ask that my parents, please watch, protect, and guide us so we may re-unite you both together.  Why, why is this even happening?  I don’t understand.  God does not put things in front of us, unless he believes we can handle it.  I know I can handle it this.  But I have to admit, I feel a bit weak. 

Injustice – is what this is.  My Tita N came here and did her best to help us out.  And we came to an “agreement” with this woman, but to be honest this is ridiculous.  The “agreement” is that she would allow Dad’s body to go back to the US, if she could accompany it…fine!  I just want to bring him home.   Why am I allowing this to happen?  I’m sitting in a pew, Dad’s body is in front of me, and his so called “Philippines” family is just hanging around.  Evelyn and I have never felt so alone and isolated in our lives.  This is my Dad’s wake, and we don’t know any of these people.  These people don’t even know who my Dad is; and what my dad is all about.  This woman also tried to barter with my sister and I for my Dad’s body – this is bull-shit!  I feel like she’s going to try and re-negotiate shit, so she can try and get something of Dad's.   No way!  Dad wouldn’t want us to be dealing with this drama.  This is just so wrong.  The one person who is really about my sister and I, but more importantly my Dad, is my Tita N.  But she has to fly out tomorrow morning.  I can’t believe this woman has the nerve to – ugh, I’m at a loss with words.
9/20/2012 04:57:06 pm

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